I just finished reading Beyond Reason by Roger FIsher and Daniel Shapiro. The tag line of the book is “Using Emotions as You Negotiate.” Now you may be asking, why, Dave, would a college student need to read or know anything about negotiation.

Well unless you are planning to become chief negotiator for the UN Peacekeeping Force chances are you won’t make a living out of negotiating. But, the truth is, we negotiate every day. Every interaction we have with another human being has the potential to become a negotiation.

From where you and your friends want to go to dinner to talking finances with your parents, negotiation is a big part of our lives. And mastering the art of negotiation is another tool we need for success.

In Beyond Reason, Fisher and Shapiro state that it is impossible to remove emotions from negotiation. The important thing is to address the underlying concern not the emotions.

As human beings we each have a number of core concerns, remember Maslow? After our basic concerns (food, shelter, clothing) are taken care of we have a number of other concerns that need to be met:

Appreciation - the need to feel that our work is appreciated and valued
Affiliation - the need to feel like part of the team
Autonomy - the need to have freedom
Status - the need to have our status, whatever it is, recognized and respected
Role - the need to play a particular role in negotiations

When we are negotiating it is important to ensure that we meet the needs of those with whom we are engaging. If these needs are not met then the other person will have more reason not to bargain with us.

We need to show our appreciation of the other person and make them feel like a colleague or friend, rather than an adversary. We need to respect their autonomy and not impinge upon it whilst at the same time expanding our own. And, we need to affirm their status and role in the exchange. Doing this will provide a good platform to achieve what we desire in our negotiations.

A great book with a lot of useful examples. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is looking to expand their negotiation skills.

What are your thoughts on negotiation. Leave a comment and let us know.