You keep different time schedules, they are up all night whilst you prefer the mornings.. They like to blast Fall Out Boy at the highest volume possible but you would prefer something more mellow. You don’t wear the same clothes, like the same movies or hang out with the same people. In fact you really don’t have anything in common at all. And it’s causing tension.

You begin to avoid coming home because you don’t want to deal with it. Arguments are becoming more common and you just don’t know if you can take it for another day.

We know that we can’t get along with every one we meet at college but when you and your room mate begin to butt heads, it can have a negative affect on many aspects of your life, not just your sleep patterns.

Here are four tips to use to diffuse the situation and make your room a place you actually want to go home to:

1. Understand from their perspective.

The best way to handle conflict with anyone is to try to see things from their perspective. This will allow you to begin to bridge the gap and start to make compromise. After all, having you as a room mate is probably not their idea of a good time either.

Begin to understand what they want and what motivates them. These are useful things to know as you begin to negotiate.

2. Handle conflicts immediately

When issues arise it’s important to handle them immediately. Harboring your anger will only lead to resentment. Approach your room mate and explain to them what aspect of their behavior it was that you are not happy about.

Try not to get personal or accusatory, explain the situation in the most objective way possible. Getting personal only weakens your position from which to negotiate.

3. Seek compromise

You’re not going to be successful if you tell your room mate they have to stop listening to music altogether because you don’t enjoy their personal taste.

Instead, try and direct your room mate toward making minor adjustments like turning the music down when it gets late or using headphones. Again do this in the most objective way. Remember to use those things that motivate your room mate as bargaining tools. For example buying them a set off headphones shows you in a considerate light, ready to make a compromise.

4. Don’t be bullied

It may be the case that your room mate is not ready to negotiate. It’s important that you don’t let yourself get bullied into making concessions for them. It sets a bad precedent and will only fuel to frustrate you.

It is possible to create a win-win situation for both of you. Stand up for the things that you want and don’t back down!

Have you had a bad experience with a room mate? What did you do to fix the situation? Leave a comment and give us some of your suggestions.