Yesterday I wrote a post on finding joy in the small things of life. A cup of coffee, a nice sunset, your favorite song, that sort of thing.
I am very aware, however, that there is a flip side to the small things in life.
In one respect you can find great joy and peace from the small, simple things you experience on a daily basis. On the other hand, you can experience an equal amount of frustration and anger from them.
We are not talking about the major things here, rather those small, niggling things that really shouldn’t get to you; an untidy room mate, a nagging parent, a friend who is really driving you crazy. On their own, these issues probably don’t frustrate you too much. Put them together, however, and you begin to pull your hair out.
Everyone has those days when the small things really aggravate them. The key is what to do when this happens.
In my view there are three options for dealing with small, annoying events or people:
1. Do nothing and keep complaining.
2. Do nothing and suck it up.
3. Confront the issue.
Do Nothing and Keep Complaining
This is often the easiest way out. It’s a logical progression; Something happens, we get annoyed, we look for the nearest person who will listen (or maybe not) and then we unload. We rant and we rave, and then we do it some more.
We decide that the best way to deal with the situation is to unload our emotions, rather than deal with the issue directly.
I am guilty of this more than anyone I know. When something annoys me I look for the nearest person who will listen to me and then I rant. It’s a natural, healthy way to get something of my chest.
But it gets to a point when the ranting doesn’t help anymore. On the contrary, it gets to the stage when your verbal tirade just fuels your anger and leads to greater frustration.
The situation remains unresolved and you end up more annoyed.
Of the three alternatives, this is by far the least helpful. If this is your preferred method of dealing with things, chances are you spend a large amount of time in complete frustration.
Do Nothing but Suck it Up
An alternative is to ignore the problem but choose not to let it get to you. Instead you choose to have a “mind like water.” You refuse to let the issue cause more of a ’splash’ on your psyche than it should.
This is the best option to choose when the issue is so small that it doesn’t need to be confronted. To do so would make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
When something irritates you, you should take a step back, get some perspective, take a deep breath, smile and dismiss the problem. This frees your mind and your emotions up to concentrate on much more important things.
Confront the Issue
There are times when the ’small’ things, if left unresolved, will build up into a much bigger issue. You know that the situation will continue to bother you until you find a resolution.
These are the times when you have to confront the issue, head on. You have to talk to the person involved. You have to proactively change the situation you are in.
Before you do this however, you should completely remove your emotions from the problem. You have to think about it in the most subjective way possible and you should approach it with a view to finding a win-win situation.
Once the situation is resolved, you will feel much better, your negative emotions will have dispersed and once again you can get back to focussing on those things that you really want to.
How do you deal with the annoying, small issues in life? Leave a comment and let us know.